When a woman has to tone down her truth to protect a man after his betrayal, she is not being calm. She is being careful. Careful because her nervous system is still scanning for danger. Careful because every time she speaks honestly she risks being dismissed, argued with, minimized, or turned into the problem. That is not safety. That is survival. Real emotional safety looks like this. She can speak with intensity, grief, anger, and confusion without you shutting down, correcting her, or defend
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